I took a
test in college once that had the most random questions on it (What color is the
sky? Are you taking a test: True or false?) There were about 30 or so
questions. At the top of the test were the instructions. Write your name in the
corner, read all questions before answering and raise your hand when finished.
I've always been one to read questions before answering anyway. I got to the
fourth (or so) to last question before making any answers and read "If you
followed the directions and read questions before answering then skip to the
last question" The last question said "Congratulations you made a
perfect score for following directions; raise your hand." You get where I
am going with this…. The purpose of the test was to see if we could follow
directions. Well I must have since forgotten how to follow directions and I am
seriously suffering for it. But I thought I would share my shortcoming just to
give myself and everyone a good laugh.
Well, on Pinterest
there was a post about making your own lip gloss out of Crystal Light packets
and Vaseline. So I thought, hey I can do this!
I have some,
*cough cough* old Wal-Mart brand Crystal Light type drink mix that never was
used. It's the 2 quart kind, not the individual packets (MISTAKE # 1)
It is strawberry flavored and is red (MISTAKE
# 2)
Trying to be
"cost efficient" I went to the dollar mart and got cheap petroleum
jelly (MISTAKE # 3)
So, I dump
just a little of the drink mix in a bowl and daub some "Vaseline" in
it and mix it together. Then I test a little bit of it on my lips (MISTAKE # 4 but also a
good thing because I would have seriously have zero friends left if I gave this
to them as a gift)
It was so
NASTY!! And grainy!! And my lips are BRIGHT, BRIGHT, BRIGHT red from the
granules. I am talking Bozo the Clown red! And the granules would not "absorb"
into the Petroleum jelly no matter how much I mixed.
So, I decide
to use proper Vaseline and the powder and mix it. Still very grainy...
So here
is where things went horribly and stupidly and even more horribly wrong.......I
decided to mix in a teeny, super tiny drop of water (MISTAKE # 5,6,7,8,9 and
10)
Oh the
stupidity! Oh the embarrassment!! I knew better! Obviously, no matter how hard
you mix, Vaseline and water don't mesh. I don’t know what possessed me.
And stirring
it made a HUGE mess because the water (which at this point mixed ONLY with the
remaining drink mix granules) splashed in resistance against the Vaseline. Of
course, it got all over my hands.....and surprise surprise... They are now dyed
BRIGHT red.
Had I
actually read the directions I would have found out that I should have used the
individual Crystal light packets as pictured and that the granules don't go away. And I
would have seen in the comments that the people who did make it as the
directions said still had the same experience with the powder staining their fingers
and lips. Sure, a pale pink dye would be ok on my lips but I look like a hooker
here people! Oh, and I should add..I wasn’t precise when applying the gloss, so
it looks like my toddler tried to put it on me.
I don't know
if I should just hang my head in shame or laugh hysterically about it.
Needless to
say, I will be exploring other options on making my own flavored lip gloss.
Oh and on a
cute note, my toddler noticed my bright red hands and lips and says "ew!
Mess!"
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